Everything that is wrong in „Mozart in the Jungle“, Season 3, Episode 6: „Symphony of Red Tape“

Just when you thought it was safe to watch TV again a new series of „Mozart in the Jungle“ arrives, our favorite show that apparently exists in a parallel dimension to our dimension, a dimension where classical music is incredibly popular, where the stars look good without photoshop and where the audience screams with joy every time a conductor enters a stage.

Season 3 is again loaded with the little inconsistencies and inaccuracies that we have come to love, as screenwriters try desperately to understand the world of classical music and very often get it…completely wrong!

Still, I love the show, and nitpicking these details is a lot of fun, as long as we don’t confuse „Mozart in the Jungle“ with any kind of reality. Here we go again:

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1) 0:30 this seems to be like the worst spot for a street musician in New York. Loud cars driving by directly and no person walking by at all!

2) 2:00: a Czech „Speakeasy“? It might shock Americans to learn that prohibition didn’t exist worldwide at the time…

3) 3:30: Hailey – by all means not supposed to be an outstanding musician in the series – can suddenly perfectly sight-read piano music that is completely unknown to her and that is tilted at an 180 degree angle while standing instead of sitting. That is no mean feat – even Horowitz would have trouble doing that!

4) 5:10. „The whole world saw it“ – again it boggles our mind that a bad classical music concert from Venice would garner such global attention.

5) 8:00: Oh, so this is supposed to be Dee-Dee’s own church? How dan he afford such big real estate in New York suddenly? How could he create a succesful new christian cult in a matter of a few weeks after being last seen having to play for schoolkids for a few bucks? This is insane!

6) The thought of the whole orchestra AND the whole management coming to the christening of the baby of an average orchestra member is very cute to say the least.

7) 10:30: Locking people in against their will is a crime in most countries, Pavel!

8) 12:00: If this is Dee-Dee’s own church they would find different things than wine and whisky in the cupboard…

9) 12:40: isn’t Pavel ashamed to put on this really awful, half-synthetic Polka music? And why is there a CD-player in the priest’s stand?

10) 14:30: I am not sure Pemberton could have sustained any kind of career after the incident that he describes here. And in the first episodes of the show he was portrayed as being slightly stuffy and old-fashioned, now we are supposed to believe that he once used to piss naked in front of an orchestra?

11) 16:40: The „Gazillion Bubble Show“ has moved in and taken over the Symphony Hall, why did they leave all the posters with Rodrigo on the wall?

12) 17:30: Even though this is not the stage or a practice room bubble equipment seems to be conveniently lying around, even though it would make a big mess on the carpet if used there!

13) Hailey „conducts“ music that is completely unknown to her and in a meter that is not even remotely connected to what Pemberton is playing. He seems to not mind, though. Than the same music segues into music that perfectly fits the scene in the church, even though Pemberton is not present at that moment and doesn’t know what’s going on there!

14) 21:00 the whole „conducting lesson“ with Pemberton is so far removed from things a real conductor would say that I am not even going to begin…But let’s say that showing the musicians that you want the music to be faster simply involves you CONDUCTING faster instead of screaming „faster, you dumbass“ (and saying that would certainly not gain you any respect from musicians, quite the opposite!)

15) 23:15 The players applaud Rodrigo even though he didn’t contribute anything to the agreement with management. Also for Betty getting a new job „representing the orchestra on the board“ would mean not a lot of money would be saved as that is basically a new job. Also: if she loves playing in the orchestra so much, that she has sacrificed her whole life for it, why would she easily let it go?

Moritz Eggert

Moritz Eggert

Komponist

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