Everything that is wrong in „Mozart in the Jungle“, Season 3 Episode 4: „Avventura Romantica“

Just when you thought it was safe to watch TV again a new series of „Mozart in the Jungle“ arrives, our favorite show that apparently exists in a parallel dimension to our dimension, a dimension where classical music is incredibly popular, where the stars look good without photoshop and where the audience screams with joy every time a conductor enters a stage.

Season 3 is again loaded with the little inconsistencies and inaccuracies that we have come to love, as screenwriters try desperately to understand the world of classical music and very often get it…completely wrong!

Still, I love the show, and nitpicking these details is a lot of fun, as long as we don’t confuse „Mozart in the Jungle“ with any kind of reality. Here we go again:

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1) These punk rock (?) lyrics are awful, awful, awful. But I guess that’s the joke…

2) 6:30 So Vlad knows that La Fiamma is „andata“, but has not bothered to tell any of the hundred people preparing the show around him, including Hailey?

3) 7:40 „Maestro, we must rehearse“? Without the singer? Not that a singer has to be present at all times, but we have already seen her rehearsing the program with the orchestra, so they are clearly already past the stage of orchestra alone rehearsals.A rehersal without her would now make little sense. And why did Beppi make this big speech about „non fornicate“ in front of the orchestra instead of in private, like any any normal person would do? No wonder Rodrigo is complaining to be surrounded by hysterical people!

4) 8:58 He is letting Hailey…conduct? Granted, she is better than him, but the orchestra would simply not accept that a completely untrained conductress suddenly replaces him.

5) 9:15 „It has to be very staccato“ is perhaps one of the most cryptic remarks ever regarding articulation. A staccato is always a staccato, it could be „secco“ or more „tenuto“, but not mote „staccato“. This is like saying a blue car has „to be blue“.

6) At 10:40 one can clearly see the gondola tenor has already taken a seat (trying to grab Gloria’s ass while doing it), in the next shot he is suddenly again in the process of sitting down.

7) 12:30 It’s amazing how Hailey now conducts in 2 but counts in three…

8) 12:33 „We can be faster“ – hey, Hailey, you are aware the conductor (you!) gives the tempo, not the orchestra?

9) 13:20 The translator only translates what he wants, but never any musical remarks by Hailey. But that would actually be his job!

10) 17:30 „Why must I sing?“ Because you have a contract, Alessandra, and would have to pay endless damages to a lot of people if you don’t, that’s why!

11) „Eraseface“ released a song „last week“, and it is already number one in Korea and the whole youth of Venice already knows the song by heart…even in our times of extreme social media coverage this is kind of stretching credibility, folks.

Moritz Eggert

Moritz Eggert

Komponist

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